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Monday, June 16, 2014

Don't let your past dictate your future!!

I finally hit the golf course for the first time since I started my journey over two years ago.  I love golfing because its challenging and relaxing at the same time.  I had always struggled with going even though it was something I enjoyed.   My friends would invite me to go but I would make up excuses on why I couldn't go.  The main  reason being I had become to big to enjoy it. None of were turning pro anytime soon so we would always hit the local course.  They charge 18 dollars for a round.  It is a great price only draw back for me was you have to walk the course.  It took all I had to get through it the last time I went.  My back would hurt from from the bending overall the time.  my form was horrible because I basically had to try and figure out a way to swing with this massive belly hanging from my midsection.  I never knew what it was like to have a normal swing.  I literally had to stand far away from the ball because my stomach would get in the way of hitting the ball.

One of my coworkers invited me to go golfing this weekend,  I figured why not the family was out of town and I didn't have any other plans.  I went out to the pump house and literally had to dig my clubs out.  It took me while to get my bag and clubs dusted off.  I was hoping to get in some practice swings at the driving range but there  was  Jr tournament going on so we had to start right away the lady said.  I teed up the first ball and let it rip at least so I thought.  I topped the ball and it bounced down the hill.  I noticed right away that my stance was off and I had to stand closer to the ball.  We walked to the bottom of the hill where my ball had rolled to.  Grabbed my next club and took my swing.  I connected and hit with in 25 yards of the green. I started to regain that enjoyment for the game once again.  We walked the whole course and had a blast.  I found out from my friend I only got par on three holes that day.  It didn't matter that I played a horrible round.  What did matter was that I finally took that little step put of my comfort zone.  I tried something again that I once found excuses to run away from.

It was like trying experiencing it all over for the first time.  I had to relearn how to swing and follow through.  As I played  the course it made me realize how far I have come.  It may seem small to other people but re-experiencing things I had done in the past is a constant reminder that I am not the same person I use to be.  I have been struggling the past few weeks with realizing that I am a totally different person than I was before.  I let one persons comment sit in my mind and bug me.   I know they didn't mean it in a rude or obnoxious way but I still let it get to me.  I was getting down on myself because  I was allowing myself to get caught up in others peoples progress.  Even though I work my butt off I don't see results as fast as other people do.  I Feel it and see it in my clothes and see it in my arms.  Sometimes I let the old mindset kick in and still see the fat guy looking back at me in the mirror.  I know that I am not the same person I once was but we are still human and have down days.   I just let my day last a few days.   I didn't go crazy and binge just felt crappy.  I felt good in the gym but was down once I  was done. I finally snapped out of my funk after talking about it.  Sometimes I forget to use the tools and people god has placed in my life.  We tend to forget how easy it is to apply the tools we have learned and have been given.  It's funny that a simple game of golf put thinks back in perspective for me.I need to continue to focus on the positive things that are going on now. Don't be scared to try things that you failed at or found difficult to do in the past.  Embrace the challenge of conquering the things you could not do before.  Once you have completed those things no matter how small or big they are find new things to try. It's like learning to live all over again the only difference being that I am a better version of my what I was before. We need to remember to not let our past dictate our future.

What kind of things have you been able to now that you could or could not do before?