So today was a pretty a pretty awesome day for me in the gym. I told myself that I was going to do three miles in 30 minutes or less. Some of you may think that is not very fast but, for me it would be a huge accomplishment. You have to know my story to understand that almost two years ago walking half a mile was a struggle. I was morbidly obese and depressed. I felt like a complete failure and was not liking myself at all. I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful children but still there was a void. I had always put up a front of not caring what others thought but always longed to feel accepted. I used my sense of humor to hide the fact that I was hurting inside. I would drown my sorrows in food drugs & alcohol. I had thoughts of suicide before I got married. I curbed my drug abuse with drinking and my drinking with over eating. Before I knew it I was 386 lbs with one foot in the grave. I had sleep apnea high cholesterol high blood pressures and a slew of other medical problems I was dealing with. It all changed by attending the San Jose fit expo. This one event changed my life forever.
So that's a little background of why today was so awesome for me. I got up and decided I was going to run 3 miles in 30 minutes or less. I stretched a little probably not enough lol. I set my google play to Hatebred and was off. I felt good the first mile and new I had to pick up the pace in the second mile. I was cruising along at a steady pace feeling good. I hit my second mile and picked the pace up to 6 mph. Now mind you it's might not seem fast but for me this was a mental barrier that I have had for such a long time. I had never truly let go and actually believed that I can run at 6 mph. I knew in my mind that I would have to kick the speed up a little more to meet my goal. I hit it up to 6.5 mph and was starting to labor a little more or at least that's what my mind was telling me. I hit the last minute and a half at 7 mph and ended my 3miles at 30:45 seconds. The feeling of accomplishment was a little overwhelming for me. I have to admit I actually became a little emotional. I thought back to that day in march of 2012 when I had to call nancy to come pick me up cause I couldn't make it back from my mile walk. I thought back to not being able to bend over and tie my own shoes. I thought back to having to go to the big and tall section to buy my clothes. It finally clicked I am not who I use to be. I am better today than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I was today. Even though I missed my mark by 45 seconds I knew that I could do it. It was that split second that I started to listen to sliver of doubt that cost me my 30 min or less. Even though it might seem like a defeat it's a victory cause I can recognize where my need for improvement is.
I sat on the row machine and had all these emotions going through my mind. As the typical male I was just happy that I was soaked with sweat and no one could see my misty eyes lol. I finished my workout with a light 15 minutes on the row machine. As I was a walking down stairs from the cardio area another gym member introduced himself to me and told me that he was impressed with my effort. He aid he remembers seeing me before and can tell how far I've come. It made my morning even that much better. I have never been a runner. Even in high school when I wrestled I would never go out and run. This week I hit two pb one in distance 5.75 miles on 65 minutes and today's 3 miles in 30:45. I will continue to build on these milestones. Next stop for distance is my 10 k and for what I call speed is 30 minutes or less for my 5k. I will not be denied. I am through living in self doubt. I will set a mark and I will achieve it. It may not be the first time but I will keep going until I get it. I love this quote below from Arnold. I've been asked by many people of I regret not starting sooner. I have few regrets in my life. I don't regret not starting sooner. My struggles have helped make me who I am today. I will learn from my past and apply what I've learned to make myself better each day. I will run my first timed 5k in march. If your in the Modesto California area come on out and givea cheer lol. I won't be the fastest but on race day I will own my race.